loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
we used that portable toilet as a cooler to keep coronas. next person who tells me hospitals arn't fun needs to come party in rm 180.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
Manscaping on you would be like trying to clean up the oil spill with a dixie cup.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
I might as well rub my vagina against it before I throw it away.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
besides the unzipped fly, the black eye and the toilet paper on your shoe you looked really sexy today baby!
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