the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
shut up. I wear heels bigger than your dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You came back with puke all over your sweatshirt and started doing darth vader impressions
ah. the first shower back home is like a baptism from the sins of the past year
There are beer cans & oyster shells along the side of the road. I belong here
i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
I know it's not technically the "Mile High Club" but we def need a name for the airport bathroom. Cuz that just happened.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
I believe you would have been proud of me last night.. I was chasin Fireball shots with Jack and Coke. Guess there's a reason they call me Whiskey Woman.
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
i have a lot of questions about the picture quality/lighting/motion/gravity of the balls...
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