She just used a chaser for red wine.
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
high. he's playing 'oops i did it again' on the ukelele. is this real life?
i feel like you're just hanging onto the edge of functioning wino.
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
I would feel bad that's he's locked out naked, but the world should really see that.
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
Went kayaking. drunk. DID NOT FALL IN. Mission succesful.
Yeah. Got a major ego boost when she said she felt like she had just fucked King Arthur. Buying some donuts later to celebrate with, wanna join?
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
There are peanut butter donuts now. We are playing with forces we can't possibly understand.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
Are you drunk? You left me a voicemail at 5:59 AM of you making dolphin sounds.
For the record, if you sneeze while you have a dildo in your vagina and you dont have a good grip on it, that thing can get some distance.
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize
