Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
oh and i really hope miley falls off this mountain she is climbing
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
It honestly took me longer to beat Ninja Turtles: Turtles in Time, than it did to have sex with her the first time we met.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I woke up to a paper award certificate for best blow job and he was gone. You're welcome mystey man.
buying new sheets for when my mom visits. I can't in good conscious let her use the ones from last night
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Seeking encouragement from my tinder matches to ace this test. I've sunk to a newest low.
Twist bend and done? Jesus that sounds like a seventh grade hand job.
Appearently I went across the hall last night demanding to ride my neighbors moose... How much did I drink?
How many hotdogs are you going to eat today?
THE LIMIT DOES NOT EXIST.
It's gonna be me and some oreos tonight. Basically like sex
Well drunk me was looking out for sober me again, hid the beer and bought another case for me
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