he thought i was a dude.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
I swear, you have an app for that. "Attention: your boyfriend is pooping. Place call?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I replied to the university automated mass text about the armed robbery at the on-campus Starbucks with a sad face. Basically sums up my night.
our landlord thinks we're weird & alcoholics. he came in to fix our broken tub and saw the laundry door on our table for beer pong, the garbage bag full of empty fifths, and that one armed baby on the doorstep. plus he saw us swimming and yargging in our pirate pool that one time.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
It just hit me that I woke up to you in a bear suit. Explain.
We got really high and decided it would be a good idea to wash towels in the dishwasher. I left before I could see the final result.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I'm sitting on the floor singing Bruno mars while they cook and occasionally pet me
So I got my junk pierced since we've fucked. You should get in on this.
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
It can't be Friday yet, in still getting friend requests of people I don't remember from last weekend
How was the party
I came home with only one shoe, a t shirt tied around my shoeless foot and I was covered in motor oil. Oh and my shorts were inside out. So you tell me
Randomize