I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
: I need to find myself a plastic surgeon husband so i can get boobs.
but u need boobs to get one in the first place.
His dick was so small it sat perched on top of his balls like it was king of his scrotum.
I will give you a bj if you get me food. NOT A JOKE. FREE BJ.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
Threw up 3 times on the lawn mower and then proceeded to crash it into a tree root and break it.
All of my current injuries can be related back to sex.
I dont know, my roommate got arrested but I'm gunna get some tacos no matter what
He thought the strainer was a giant bowl to puke in.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You made out with a guy who refers to his cock as "rafiki." Are you proud of yourself?
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I climbed out a window to pee last night because i thought i was locked in the room... Then crawled back in and went to bed. The poor neighbors.
I just threw up birthday cake.. who's birthday was it?
Just had a small freak out because I couldn't get my bra unhooked and thought I was gonna be stuck in it forever.
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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