He yelled IN THE FACE!! while cumming on my face.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
The gay viking and his eqyptian 'queen' hooked up on our couches. They pushed them together to make a bed. Innovative, but awkward to come home from work to at 7 am.
Tell me right now I did the right thing by not fucking my sick gf at 3 am with her family home... Tell me my balls hurt for noble reasons.
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I got woken up by a construction worker, turns out I was laying in a hallway, naked and wrapped in a matress pad. To answer your question no, I did not study for this test I got David Hasselhoff drunk
Craig, a bottle of Jamison, and I had a party on the roof last night. No idea how I got down. My injuries indicate fall...
We have such limited time together he literally sends me text messages that are like "I sent my roommates on an impossible quest, we have 15 minutes." it's that bad.
She's calming us down by shoving oreos in our mouths
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
i need some magic done to my vagina
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
It's a sexual break up. We maintain a friendship and leave any and all sexual attraction out. It's not hard, having a baby is harder than that.
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