the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
You make homosexuality sound like a cult.
it wouldnt have been so bad but she still had the cowboy hat on when my mom walked in
how did he go about obtaining bull sperm?
Tonights theme there is the 7 deadly sins. Greed, envy, sloth, gluttony, sluttiness, fellatio and vodka.
do you have any idea how hard it is to keep a boner while another dude is writing on your dick in sharpie?
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
cops woke me up on the sidewalk and asked where my shoes are.. fuck if i know, im sleeping on the sidewalk! actually i didnt say that, i just cried until they gave me a ride home.
At least he finally released me from his spooning oven of death...
I slapped him but he didn't wake up. He just nuzzled my head, hugged me closer, and smiled.
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
I wanted to say, you're welcome for your orgasms, thanks for not returning the favor, Needledick
Why did I wake up next to the fire pit? And who wrapped me up like a burrito?
Jägerbombs. Thank Sara.
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