I'm fascinated by her cleavage. She has deep cleavage, but no obvious boobage to speak of. Check it out.
I want to be a jewelry store heckler. "Hey man, is she really worth it"
My 54 year old father just sent me a YouTube link on my school email titled "Walrus sucks his own dick" and then wrote in the email "I wish I were a walrus". What the fuck is wrong with my family?
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
Who would have thought google would have HELPED me fail a test...not pass...thank you pacman, thank you google....
at john mayer concert. alone. to many highschool kids. i feel like a drunk chaperone with a pomegranite martini mustache
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
I woke up this morning in the house, I didn't realize it was physically possible to duct tape a person to the wall...
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Please come collect your inebriated significant other. He just sleep-farted and scared my cats. Please hurry.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
He sided with his father, so I slashed his tires. I’d say that’s a fair trade.
Randomize
