you just used a box of cheese-its to get into the bar
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
I just got a msg from someone saved in my phone as "gouiys stAndingg nezxt me not oz". Omh my life.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
And theres a reasonable expectation that if you're fighting over a pair of yoga pants on the ground at VS someones gonna videotape it
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
My cat licked the coke mirror and now is giving me dirty looks. Bet money she has the drip.
If I die tonight somebody's going to have to let all my tinder matches know.
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize