"it" just moved
i may or may not have puked on your loofa in the shower.
Yeah, it was all fun and games until I realized that it wasn't my tent, and I had no idea who those people were
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
God I love incriminating evidence...wonder what the statue of limitations is on shitting on someones driveway
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
We told you to go get more fire wood and you came running back with a log that was on fire, not drunk at all.
Well, I washed his beard with dish soap and then I fucked him three times.
He stared me down while singing "Let Me Love You" to me while we were having sex. I don't know whether to marry him or file a restraining order.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me how it ended, then I blew him.
So he ruined the best cinematic experience of your life and you REWARDED him??
Red Alert: She has 3 cats, a parrot, and 2 rats. Initiate Protocol Zero and rendezvous at Checkpoint Bravo for debriefing
ya I had reallllllly good sex last night too that will probably get me evicted
After he finished he laid there and told me how much work that just was. I looked at him and told him not to ruin a good thing by opening his mouth.
He stuck a cigarette in my butt last night. There is no coming back from that.
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
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