How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
checking your phone to see who you drunk dialed last night isnt as funny when you see you had a 17 minute call to your dad.
names aren't important. just tell him all you want is a lil make out sesh and keep it moving.
She accidentally pre-ordered us Dominos for the next day at 11:30am... we were very confused when we woke up.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
Pretty sure encouraging you to sleep with 2 different girls while keeping you in the good graces of both has lost me the ability to call myself a woman. But that's just the kind of friend I am; dedicated.
I knew you were blacked out when you started refusing beer.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
Yeah! Don't let me leave the house without marijuana and a juicer.
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
New life goal: fuck in the shopping cart
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
