Running into every girl no one would hook up with here at rick's. Typical.
OKAY SO WHENEVER I SEE AN UGLY COUPLE I ALWAYS WONDER WHAT THEY SAY TO EACH OTHER IN BED. creepy?
I know im too high when i think porn has an interesting story line.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
Im def. not watching the CMAs. If Kanyes not gonna be there whats the point?
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
She tried catching cigarette ashes on her tongue like snowflakes.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
Dont even bother asking why she was dancing with him on top of a door, let alone how the door ended up being used as a table.
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Sorry about the picture of wills balls via snapchat last night btw
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
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