Can we have unprotected sex soon?
Don't quote me on that, I'm a walking boner
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
I wish I could but I can't. No beer pong or sex on a hammock...such an unproductive weekend
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
All hell broke loose. When the police showed up, this kid somehow haggled with a cop to let him pee in public. I'm convinced he could talk the panties off of a nun
Wow it must be so difficult to be as popular as you are and smoke as much weed as you do
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
MY WHOLE FAMLY IS TALKING ABOUT MY BUTT
WAIT I'M COMING I WANT TO TALK ABOUT IT TOO
I just googled "can they trace a vibrator back to you" so that' s how my life it going.
He and I are in a competition of who can sleep with the most people at work. We're tied at two. I could win this if they'd stop hiring damn straight girls.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
As you were falling you yelled out, "save my burrito!" Priorities
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