I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I will also be strapping forties to the puppies.
i have this gut feeling friday is going to be interesting.\nAnd by interesting I mean I feel like im going to get punched in the face by his girlfriend.
Well, I now know how many glasses of wine it takes for me to fuck my neighbor.
I promise a much better performance tomorrow than last night my penis has a bed time
Sorry for locking you out after accusing you of eating my Skittles... I realized I was mistaken after just throwing up the rainbow.
I was mixing candy canes and coors light and was in a great place.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I think id rather titty fuck an A cup than deal with what happened tonight again. shits depressing
The other guys kept waking up so I hid... Like, dick in mouth, hiding in his sleeping bag
Negotiating with my body. We're ok. Violent upheaval is not necessary.
i am craving dick and cupcakes
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Randomize
