Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
you were mass sexting so we took your phone away
My wrist bandage is guacamole stained. What an accurate representation of my life as a whole
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
I stole another quarter from the bathroom. I'm slowly getting rich drinking here.
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Europe's "the final countdown" was playing. It was pretty much amnesty for anything that might happen the rest of the night. It's a rule.
We were having an argument with his friends mom about whether it was worse that he bootycalled me at 4 a.m. or that I bootycalled him at 12 in the afternoon
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think I'm done drinking. How did we end up partying at a frat house with my mom...
You were so drunk last night you left the bar to go buy a razor so you could go home with him
I understand, but unless there is an intervention for me being planned, i DON NOT want to talk about my life choices
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
final thoughts: i just want someone into choking me out, weed and anime
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Randomize