We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
Just made my alarm the Lion King song. Too excited about waking up to sleep.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
I am solely responsible for the birth of their child. I mean, I did push them into the room and hold the door shut yelling "punch that kitty!". It has to be a sign.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
There are several different types of life sentences in my purse right now.
Im chasing shots of tequila with chocolate milk right now. by myself. its nasty, but I've had worse in tjere the past couple days, so ill take it.
You slid down the bannister into a split. Lines were crossed.
They wont sell alcohol here on election day! HOW THE FUCK DO THEY EXPECT ME TO ENJOY THE ELECTION SOBER?
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
Nothing says "First Single Holidays" quite like getting baked with the guy that took your virginity four years ago.
so go get some goddamn bacon and lay in his bed naked. he'll love it.
30% sure Kevin and I just adopted a cat. Talk to me when the sun's up but I really feel like that's a thing.
Update on my sex life: my calves are sore from masturbating too much. It's a thing. Look it up.
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Randomize
