I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
No it only became awkward when she walked in with her new boyfriend and we realized we'd all banged her
You answered the door when the cops arrived with a beer in one hand and a pillowcase over your head yelling "GAGA, OOH LA LA!"
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
woke up wearing a canadian flag with the starting forward of the hockey team. i feel oddly patriotic
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
So... How much of our rent is drug money?
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
I wonder if the sex shop has any Black Friday deals.
I just drunkenly emailed my feminist dissertation as a resignation letter for my call center job. What am I doing with my life!?
Randomize
