I was cleaning up my drunken mess and I found my ID in a cereal box
after the first blizzard, i went out and bought a thirty and put it in a cooler and hid it out in the backyard. now the second blizzard has deposited 2 feet of snow on top of said cooler. there is a shovel and treasure map over here waiting for you
dont touch anything in my room. If its phallus shaped, i can almost guarantee its been in my vagina.
HOW DID U BEAT A GAY GUY IN GAY CHICKEN?
I'm taking this break up pretty rough.. I've never been to sad to masturbate.
The perfect world is just rainbows and rocknroll and good sex. With the occasional stripper ridIng a horse. I spelled occasionally right?
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
How early is too early for a booty call on a Monday night?
Walking down the street, Bro bumping to 'still' by dre. Dropped his trash on the ground and aggressively sped up when his light turned green. If you still had love for the streets you wouldn't of fucking littered. Took everything for me not to yell at him. I know you would've.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
I mean I just feel if I'm not being fat and lazy then I'm not really being myself
All I remember is the bartender saying your sucking them down and waking up on the floor in my underwear
I have an ideal penis or slightly above ideal penis in every country that isn't ruined by the specter of communism
It was a simpler time. With fewer STDs.
I want sex. When is an appropriate time post funeral to ask for something like that. Like when it gets dark out?
Randomize
