why cant girls ever use the fly? why do they always have to awkwardly try to pull it over your belt?
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
he yelled "RELEASE THE KRAKEN" then hit me with his dick
I got a Cease & Desist email from NBC for downloading Bruno. I am not going down for gay porn.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
She went to her drug test stoned.
And strangely enough, we all know she'll pass it.
I just added Tubthumping to the playlist for tonight. This is going to make or break the party.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
If you fold the laundry; booze and orgasms on me.
Quick question—how good are you at digging holes? I mean, besides the one you've dug for yourself. asking for a friend
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
Ever look at an ex and wonder...was I drunk that entire relationship??
Yes, yes I do.
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