i just got a UPS package from a name and address i dont know, with one of my thongs in it. no recollection.
i bet jesus would rush if he went to usc
Just found out that wake n bake is not one of the 7 habits of highly effective people..
he couldn't find his key, so we just had sex on his parent's porch while we waited for his mom to get home.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
She's legit crying about wanting more sex. Holy shit.
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
He took the bartender's challenge and took a Jello shot with a tarantula frozen inside.
High moment. Almost just passed the blunt to the dog.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
A thong just fell out of my purse in front of my whole class maybe I should stop using this morning class as my walk of shame
FYI the blow job was for papa johns pizza
I regret 8000% nothing
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
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