He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
had to ask my 13 year old sister if she knew any dealers... she did. it's good to be home.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
oh don't forget that when we go furniture shopping we have to find a matching bong so put more money in the furniture fund
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
I'm fucked up. I can't drink anymore. We stole a cat.
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
There are pre-booty call contracts for a reason. I have no intention of calling you tomorrow.
Do you need my fax number or something?
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
You humped everything and cried in an uber.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
It's become almost a Pavlovian response. The sound of the vacuum being run by hubby causes an instantaneous involuntary orgasm.
Had phone sex with my boss who I still haven’t seen in person. How’s your Monday ?
I'm completely creeped out. He's dressed as me. And thinks it's funny.
Randomize
