why the FUCK would i wear makeup on my vagina!?
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
I'm gonna vom. In the dentist chair. Who makes a dentist appt for July fucking 5th.
Coming home soaking wet at three am and trying to convince the front desk man that we came from the library might have worked if I wasn't also roaring at everything.
Fuck winter. I had to scrape my windshield, shoeless, after the walk of shame so I could go home.
It involved anal and pop rocks. Tell me how that could have ended well.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Had a girl with a moustache tattoo on her hand give me a handjob. That shit was classy as fuck. I felt like I should be wearing a monocle or something.
the people in front of me have a grocery cart in their car... i missed college...
Randomize
