i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
he said the way to his heart was through his stomach, i told him if he wanted to eat my food he had to eat my kitty
smooth operator
I have hooked up with someone in EVERYONE OF MY CLASSES.
That's how you know you deserve to be a senior
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
My Yoga instructor is playing the music from 'Requiem for a Dream' it makes me very reluctant to put my ass in the air
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
If he survived pride he can survive a gay bar
Did body shots with a guy... Ended up being the ref of my volleyball game... So that's why we won
She turned off her phone alarm (which was the theme song to Star Wars) and then asked me if I wanted a blow job before she went...of course I am going to see her again.
god i just can't wait for finals to end so i can just masturbate all day and night
i told them you weren't like that.. and they laughed at me?
Wow i just puked in front of the lady that was drug testing me. I passed though!
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
she hand cuffed me to the bed naked, jumped off the dresser naked, hit her head on the fan and knocked herself out. when her mom came home i had to call her for help, she could have died man...
Randomize
