Unmistakable female orgasm noises coming from upstairs shower
She must've brought a toy -- seriously doubt that he's up to the task
we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
On a scale of one to Chris Brown, how angry are you?
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I just wanted to let you know that this afternoon I took a piss at the same toliet you drank out of on New Years Eve.
That girl that gave me a blowjob, I think I fired her last year.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Whenever there is a ShotSki involved, I have no excuse but to drink, right? It's like a rule.
Challenge: Try to have your balls hanging out in every picture you take tonight
Challenge Accepted
We see some guy emerge from the forest on the island this morning, alone, in only a snuggie. Morning shots and bagels on us for the number one walk of shame.
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
It was 3 am when she drunkenly tried to deep-fry a banana.
How'd she do that?
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.
Is it sad that I just pissed sitting down so I didn't have to stop eating doritos?
Randomize
