But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
she just made me lysol my hands in order to touch her tits.
you were going around the whole club telling people to smell ur purse
After doing lines off my chest, she said, "do you even know how fast I could suck your cock right now?!!" and her friend said, "yea she totally could".
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
I held a cracker & gaterade down for an hour. I feel like this will be my greatest accomplishment of the day.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
I called him daddy. To his face. Somewhat sober. What more could I do?
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
I smell like playdoh, sex, and ruined lives. I love the weekend
Tequilla is a sneaky bitch ninja that doesn't kick in until you least expect it. Then BAM! You're peeing in unconventional places.
Randomize
