Bigbird is at the bar Im at. whats her name
the line runs infront of fredricks of hollywood. it's like gamestop is showing me how pathetic I am.
he left me a 6 minute video of him peeling a clementine listening to justin bieber
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
just graduated on the spot on the quad where I vommed freshman year. full circle
This went bad. Everyone is crying, i dont know why and I am really uncomfortable.
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
You weren't just peeing. You were like grinding on it. And you tried to pee in the washing machine first.
I think I might be drunk enough to cut my own hair
Your children are clinging to me like my teets are full of bountiful milkiness. They're driving me nuts. I felt my uterus shrivel up.
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
His mom let me come to his house for a Booty call at 4am. She even cooked us breakfast in the morning and told me im a better moaner than his girlfriend of 4yrs.
HE’S PUKING UP BLOOD
okay all good I mistook strawberita for blood...
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
