Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
I'll always remember you bringing me that pregnancy test in the middle of an ice storm. Best friend ever.
Dude you spent 20 minutes on the phone with dominos answering machine trying to order a pizza
Due to last night I think a roommate constitution should be made. The first law will be designed to prevent any chicks below a 4 to enter the house.
you never know what sharing a kayak could lead to
It's true
Would it be weird to bake him a cake that says "sorry I peed on your bed"?
Do exhausted, barely concealed hand jobs count as joining the mile high club?
You tried to prove you weren't drunk by loudly singing the romanian national anthem. Why the fuck do you even KNOW the romanian national anthem?
you tried to drunkinly do the backflip kick off of karate kid and broke the big screen
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
Intelligence report: the hot sister called you gross, the sweet sister says you're dumb, and the smart sister says all the other men she knows would have to die for her to hook up with you.
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