i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
dude it was like an art museum there were boobs everywhere
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Passed out for 3 hrs til now to wake up naked on my bed covered with grass from drunk slip and slide I would call that success
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
do you think the bartender judged us for asking for shots of well vodka and water chasers?
He said I went to go sit outside and is promised I wouldn't leave he brings me a chair and I'm gone. He found me stumbling a half mile away in my socks
they still hired me even though my background check came back with a warrent for my arrest.
You may now shotgun with the bride
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I walked in the kitchen and heard her saying "We could have been so good together" as she caressed an egg with her cheek.
Randomize
