I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I bet i've been more pregnant than you.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Accidentally just signed something at work 'lotus flower' I need to keep my stripper life separate from real life.
I can't even go pee because I'm making sure he doesn't run off somewhere naked.
Freshman ate returning to campus. Let Operation Slut Storm commence.
If she's steering anything, it's a religious boat of crazy. Destination: Iceberg.
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
So that advice that humming stops you from puking? Yeah no, just puked through my nose.
Omg. We have to workout today. I just looked at myself in the mirror and thanked a god I don't believe in for drunken boys and dark rooms.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
New one isn't as good asmy ex. She won't put her tongue up my butt
Peter this is your "ex"
I stand by what i said
as a lesbian i'd like to thank joe biden and also america for giving us this absolute MILF for a VP
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