Best part is I totaly had to get into my dads car like I didn't have my pants off two minutes ago.
Can you return condoms to CVS?
Only if you return your pride as well.
I had the most spectatular hardon this morning. I think it was trying to reach you in Wisconsin.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
I'm in the line at the airport trying not to vomit on the person in front of me. Happy Tuesday.
You were almost as fucked up as I was the night I hooked up with a bob saget look alike...
YOUR BALLS CAME OUT. DONT CALL ME A SHITSHOW.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
he just cleaned his wound with pinnacle whipped
Ims textiofg thsi woht my noes bcuz my hansd aer stli handcuffde to teh bedfrme. Help me
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Just found out that the guy I lost my virginity to voted for Gary Johnson. It's almost more upsetting then him ending up being a massive asshole.
Just flash them and yell "JUDGE THESE BITCHES"
Randomize
