Google if cops ever smoke weeds and then bust them. I need to know immidiately.
there's no toilet paper. I'm using wheat bread.
Vegas should really enforce the buddy system because if not everyone is going to end up swimming during the water show in front of the Bellagio.
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
Best part of Friday afternoon drinking? Having ping pong balls thrown into my cleavage.
I just used crown royal bags as pot holders...
But I mean how many guys can say they get blow jobs and grilled cheese with football
found $100 my ex got arrested and I can receive free health insurance I gotta tell ya 2014 is really going to be my year
Just used the handle end of a spatula to get the baggie of coke wedged between my passenger seat. Innovation points?
Woke up with a 22 year old with the number for a different girl written on my stomach, almost 30 can suck my dick I still got this shit
You told him about your cats? I told his friend to put his dick in my mouth, and you talked about cats!?
U know this is gone far when im in the bathroom trying to take a pic of my asshole
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
This is like the fourth time this month I've woken up hungover in someone's backyard
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