I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I got drunk and applied for two credit cards last night. About to find out if anyone in this world is still dumb enough to give me credit.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you are my new fav person for making him do the walk of shame in pink footie pajamas!
Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
I slept with him to see his dog one last time
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Just witnessed my roommate pick her nose and eat it in her sleep. Remember, you made out with that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This tiny cat is tiny breathing with her tiny lungs and im having a tiny freak out. Like those lungs have to be super tiny.
he attacked my vagina with the force of a thousand suns
i spent my morning giving relationship advice to the kid i had sex with on a kitchen table this weekend
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
how come you came home with "Amanda owns this" written on your forhead
I don't want my liquor store dad to judge me...
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