You can't just hum the Jaws theme song when you pull down my pants.
Theres an amvulance here. It might be for me
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
What do you need? A swimsuit and a liver of steel? What else?
The same guy who pierced my nipples just told me he can help tutor me in precalc.
I just saw a fat girl roll down the steps taking out three people with her, thought you should know.....
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
I may or may not have just hot boxed a backhoe on the construction site of a police station that's being rebuilt..
Sorry, fell into some ass. Call you tomorrow.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
I'm playing trivia and drinking margaritas so now is not a good time.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
I sent my brother over to my ex's to get the rest of my stuff. He comes back SEVEN HOURS LATER, high as fuck without my shit! No loyalty.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Randomize
