just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The worst thing about having a parent with a prius is that they can walk in on you without any warning
he called to tell me the scratches were still on his back. this was in the summer.. still the best hookup
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
i feel like our whole relationship was one big acid trip
The rest of the concert I just stared at the lights and didn't really listen to the music cuz I was trying to make sure my brain still worked cuz my face was numb and I couldn't move... Yeah I'm not a weed brownie person
I can't find a song to express how gay I'm feeling.
This is a mass text. I will facerape you if you bring me Fierce Melon Gatorade and 4 D batteries.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
He can't just hit it and quit it and then eat your pop tarts on his way out.
So apparently I twerked on my coworkers last night. One month at the new job n I guess this is how I'm getting to know people
Don't go to jail over some guy named Bunky
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He literally shoved the EMT, climbed in the back of the ambulance with his vodka and was like, "C'mon, people. Wrap this up. I got shit to do."
It's totally a relationship. we have sex in other people's beds, watch mad men while high and get drunk on his teammates' beer. don't you dare stomp on my dreams with your societal judgments
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