So I was talking to her on the phone last night and had to mute it so I could take a crap.
Side Note: My mute button doesn't work.
Got one of only two perfect scores in the class on the quiz I took drunk. This is not a good thing for me to have learned about myself.
Dude has a bag of wine attached to his belt. These guys don't fuck around.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
So there's dick imprints in the peanut butter
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
I'm sorry you couldn't sneak away today. You're the only guy I'm fucking that I can talk with about the other guys I'm fucking, and I need some advice
The way I see it, everyone on campus has a fake, but I'm the only person who actually makes beer in their dorm.
My bed is full of blood and feathers
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
If catching your vomit in my hands while swimming in a bath tub full of it doesn't make us best friends, I don't know what will
is it just me or does "lol" kill any sort of vibe while sexting?
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
Randomize
