I just watched a video of Justin Bieber kissing a girl..... the sad thing is that I actually got upset.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
We had to introduce ourselves in ethics class. This guy stood up said I'm mark, I love sluts and Jack. Then just sat back down. Hero status.
So when you said you wanted to make a clay replica of my boobs and hang it above your bed you actually meant it?
One last question would your parents let me sleep in your bathtub for the night?
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Wearing the same clothes for three days in a row and eating an entire two pound bag of jelly beans really has a way of making a person rethink their life...
I didn't think this needed to be said, but our sexts are an emoji free zone
Nothing makes the walk of shame as great as disapproval from a mom getting ready for work
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
It's not even 8:30a, wine glass is broken, there's sugar everywhere, and your mom just asked me what MILF means.
You know tonight's gonna be a good night when your already planning on sleeping in a trunk
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Randomize
