So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
How can she be afraid to give you a blowjob? It's not like your penis is going to turn on her and eat her.
My new excuse for sleeping with him was in celebration of his cat's birthday.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
If I'm gonna go to jail I'm gonna be wearing a poncho
Come over. Drunk tacos.
That isn't even a sentence.
I kept the important parts.
No way. Every time you have sex with him you'll end up staring into those eagle eyes and stop mid-orgasm.
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
All I remember was my mom walking through the door, and then me asking her if she wanted a hit.
Randomize
