I could tell by the way he was holding my hand that he really liked you
Dude, I couldn't come. She sounded like a goddamn dying walrus.
And I know a few people wouldnt want to even be around high people. Which is sad. But jet packs are cool.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I actually don't know if I can stand up. I just know better than to try
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
whose parrot is this?
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He fucked me over, so I'm going to do what any rational woman does. I'm going to get really high and have sex with his brother.
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
I guess you know it was a good night when you find your ripped underwear in your pocket, and a nerf bullet falls out of your pant leg 😂😂
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
Randomize
