Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
I try to help out whenever I can. Speaking of rough nights I woke up half naked on Brady's couch with bloody paper towels duct taped to my foot.
Just don't have "pin the tail on the straight edge" as a party game... Please and thanks...
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
he's paying for my abortion by participating in an alcohol study. dont try to tell me we wouldn't be classy parents
I found all these half eaten mandarin orange on the ground and the bruises on my neck are definetely not hickies
So bored. I think I've expelled every last gram of jizz from my body.
Well according to all the calls, texts, and Facebook messages, I threw up on you guys last night.
How are you feeling this morning?
Well, I just found day old puke in my bra, so I've been better.
You left your hot dogs in my dresser again
Me and some guy are crying in a port a potty together after another guy broke up with both of us.
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
Randomize
