guess who just spent driver's ed figuring out how to draw a guy giving head
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I think I just broke my ankle. I've only had one beer. I'm getting drunk before I go to the ER so it's less embarassing.
I think it's safe to say me, swords and vodka can never be aloud in the same room again.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
I wish they could condense everything I needed, nutritionally speaking, into mike and ikes
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
think he just told me if I need to shit I should go outside.
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
But once you explained how to fill cupcakes with semen I realize you were harmless and right on my level.
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Just bailed on her the best way possible. Got tickets to the game. Only issue is.... if we lose, we not only lost, but I skipped sex to watch us lose
some guy had a sword and everyones crying..it turned bad..fast.
Randomize
