I'm lost and stupid without you.
Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
If her picture on my phone wasn't mostly of her breasts, I'd never pick up the phone when she calls.
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
If I don't have herpes this will be the single greatest day of my life
its really sad that i have to specifically make this a rule but, absolutely no lighting smoke bombs indoors at my birthday party.
She was standing in the road flagging traffic in a tshirt and boxers. I didn't stop.
All she wanted was a cigarette
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Is it wrong in Austin to talk to the homeless while I feed a bird my chips??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Oh man, buzzed lunch fridays almost got out of hand.
They used the ice bucket from their room to drink beer from and called it the "Holy Grail"
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
At least your nickname is not Plunge Slut and that nickname is not in a published thesis work
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
Randomize