So when exactly did I get naked and makeout with the statue?
So I'm cool with the whole break up, but it sure is a shame we didn't get to use those handcuffs.
life just isnt the same w/o real world cancun
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
I was hoping we just happened to wake up naked and I hadn't fucked him.... no such luck.
Please please please tell me that is not a pringles container full of pee that your little brother just got a hold of.....
When you awake you'll realize that your car is missing....just know that I had it and becuz of your car I hooked up with the hot bar tender that looks like that guy from bay-watch however I parked it in a loading zone and it was towed...that sex was TOTALLY worth it love you
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
Guess what I signed up for?!?!?!
Please tell me you're not selling your eggs.
NEW HOUSE RULE! If you make it in a chicks cleavage it's 3 cups and bra off.
BP at your house from now on.
I swear the toilet was so cold I tried to stand up but my balls wer frozen to it. most awkward five minutes between me and my mom.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
Well, I can't remember Thursday and my left ass cheek hurts like hell, I'm guessing Mike's bachelor party was a success.
Randomize
