If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
He used my blackberry to make a voice recording of me orgasming, then set it as my ringtone while I was sleeping. I discovered this during a staff meeting this morning.
Just so you're aware, tomorrow is "Slow Clap when you see Mike" day.
A very small part of me wants you to appreciate me for more than just my breasts. But the rest of me is breasts.
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
I can't remember where my feet are. All I can see are colors, and all I can feel is terror. The lollipop was a bad idea.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
our friendships a beautiful delicate flower...that has been crushed by peni
did you just take a shot to penises and friendship?
Fun times on public transportation. I just had a guy imply that I was racist cause I didn't want to talk to him when I was clearly reading my book and he was clearly on coke.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
It's the Ides of March, motherfucker. That means we're supposed to daydrink, right?
Ryan. I woke up. At the neighbors house. And by the neighbors. I mean the ones to the north. The ones that hate us. Please call me. I am so confused and you are gone
At the neighbors house?! Like in it or outside???
In it on the fucking couch. No idea how i got here.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
