she was so not down for the gang bang
I'm so bummed I missed coconut bowling. It's fucking cold here and no coconuts to be found
I just tried to pee in a pad to see if it was like a diaper. it's not.
His ankle bracelet only gets in the way when I'm trying to take off his pants.
hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
well you decided to make everyone "drinks" which was sprite and beer mixed.
I have been referring to it as "thanks for getting out of me day" all week. Do you think they will still take me to brunch tomorrow?
I know everybody has skeletons in their closet but why are all of mine so slutty?
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
She deserves a chance to suck my penis. This is America. Its her God given right.
He compared my vagina to his favorite T-shirt. I don't know if I should take that as a compliment or not..
Got myself invited to boss's family dinner party, drank too much, and fucked boss's brother in his parent's house. Just another Wednesday.
I wonder if Paul and Andy realize how lucky that they are that we're too lazy to start fucking other dudes so we just stick with them
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize
