Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
I can't even teach it... It's just natural slutyness.. My mom has it too
Just think about how many life skills I lack. Cooking... Driving... Sobriety...
you woulda been proud of me tonight though. i only made out with 2 guys. and in my defense one of them was to get a job after graduation.
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What's the appropriate I've been inside you but we're not technically dating valentines present?
But life is now good. Well, not good, good would be not wearing the penis hat with the extended family of the boy I just cheated on, but as good as it's going to get today
my parents decided to start a new christmas tradition. we will now be drinking champagne while opening presents, and we each get our own bottle
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
I'm trying to ve beat feiesnd sent.
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I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
The sex is great, I just think it'd be better if we listened to Deftones during it.
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
A million fucking miles away, and the sun still manages to fuck my hungover mornings up.
what do u think we would be doing right now if we were together
Urinating on unicorns
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
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