This girl is more easily done than said...
The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I wasn't going to take him home until I heard "hung like a water buffalo" then curiosity got the best of me.
Hey ER girl, its the EMT you beat at blowjobs shots last night.
That is the scariest sentence I have ever read.
i know i shouldn't tell you this since i want you to really like me but i just spent the last 4 hours sleeping on the toilet.
New York City is dangerous when the only bars you go to are the ones that have 'open' in front
No. No. No. No one's allowed to fuck in the yurt.
It's fine. I wouldn't trust either of them to be my workplace drug buddy.
what are you going as for halloween?
drunk, naked, & emotionally unstable
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
If you send me one more .gif of that fumble, I will make the 10 hour drive just to set you on fire.
You passed out in my backseat like a legitimate infant. A really drunk, really horny infant
Randomize
