you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
I just claimed my unemployment in Vegas. This seems wrong.
Dude, we took our shirts off and set our chest hair on fire. That's a low point.
You raise a valid concern
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
What do you think it is?
It's a boy. I know it. She always manages to have a cock inside her somehow.
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
Me. blonde. Sex. Dance floor.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
So your bra was hanging in the Christmas tree last night at some point I think
I don't care how much you're grieving a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.
Had a grope session with a girl who looked like my Mom and had the same name as her as well. I think therapy is in order.
If I was home I'd be ouija boarding the fuck out of the house, haven't been this high since that day
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
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