I have said "that's the wrong hole" for the last time.
dude! the alphabet song and twinkle twinkle little star are like the same tune
what drug did you take to come to that conclusion??
I totes stole your whore crown.
With great power comes great responsibility.
One of the cleaning ladies on my floor just screamed from the bathroom
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i just shit on the floor of my room. my roommate was in the bathroom, my choices were limited.
Theres a truck parked on the front yard and i just want to take this opportunity to tell you now that it is not my fault.
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
Note to self: do not ride giant beanbag chair down stairs.
Most senic walk of shame ever. This is why you go to school in Hawaii.
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Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
Since I fall down so much at parties I've started doing this new thing where when I fall I just yell FLOOR PARTY and make people bring the party to me
mike is out of commission and cannot make breakfast. he's sitting with two frozen waffles on his face & smiling like an idiot.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
At least you didn't wake up next to your professor who then proceeded to cancel class via phone while still inside of me.
whose shirt was i wearing?
his little sister's
what was she wearing
a feather boa and 6 inch heels
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