I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
i am pregamming alone in my car. scale of 1-10 how alcoholic is that
im pretty sure thats an 11
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
under NO circumstances is it acceptable to fist pump to taylor swift
i guess i had fun last thursday night because when i got on the drunk bus this thursday night everyone immediatley started chanting my name and telling me to do a bus flip
whats a bus flip?
idk but apparently i invented it
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
I need a hug and tequila
I'm sitting next to a milk crate full of tequila right now
This is why we need to live in the same city again
He was pretty handsy. Told me I tasted like smoke. Good think he tasted that and not the stomach acid I just puked not ten minutes before.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Bring vodka when you get back from court.
I told her I wanted to go swimming and she responded with jello shots, taking off her clothes, and jumping into the pool...I think I'm in love
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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