So I have exactly 420 dollars saved up in tips from the past week. I win, and I take that as a sign from god that I am allowed to use that money to buy drugs.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
You will not judge me for my made-up holiday of wine appreciation day
We sat in his closet and drank four loko out of my camelbak for an hour in the dark. You tell me how my night went.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He walked door to door asking if anyone needed to get laid. Surprisingly, that ended his drought
She thinks Jesus was an astronaut.
Is it bad to have a craving for speed? I feel like my nose is thirsty.
Did I mention I hooked up with another country star? I think I need some sort of trophy for each time, yah know? Or like a sash and I win a badge or patch for each person. Like a slutty Girl Scout.
The only math I use in every day life is figuring out how much I can spend on alcohol and still have money to pay my bills. High school lied to us.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He handed me a beer to drink as he went down on me. I want to keep him
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
You casually put your finger in my ass and other people are weird..
I taught three men with PhDs how to make a gravity bong last night. I love academia.
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize