Being pregnant is so damn inconvenient for my sex life.
I think im in love with that girl with the googlie eyes last night. She was looking in my eyes and at my dick at the same time. we are going out again tonight.
"romantic friends" sounds more classy then friends with benfits
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
E drugging s springing. Ease dnt Kate. To t e. ess e I meant thou.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
SHUT UP I CAN'T HEAR YOU OVER THE SOUND OF UKULELE AND LONLINESS
You should have heard my farts after he left. I swear one of them was a demonic voice saying, "It's coming for you, Nicole. It's coming,".
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I think if you have sex on the couch it will psychologically damage it.
my experiences serve only to benefit you young virgin
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Im sitting on the floor of the hotel room eating nachos and drinking coffee. People should learn to embrace their hangovers
Randomize
