I just heard a girl say "We can't go that way, it is a one way street." She was on foot...Nothing worse than girl from the midwest that move to NY to "live out their dream" -the dream of living in a rat and roach infested 200sqft for $2k a month, and get fucked by some recent Ithaca college frat grad...
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
Heads up. We filled your kiddie pool with kool-aid and vodka. Things are about to get Out. Of. Hand. Quickly.
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
true friends will drive 3 hours to come smoke a couple blunts with you on the bridge where your car broke down
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
You passed out with your mouth on the faucet, straddling the keg, with your arms wrapped around it
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I swear to god....if you can give yourself a brazilian you can take a fucking bullet
I don'y know if I should feel accomplished or disgusted. I just ate a dozen cookies all to myself. I'm leaning more towards accomplished.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
I just saw a guy walking up the stairs with his dick out his pants. I let him know, and he just looked down in shock, laughed, and continued walking up the stairs.
If he’s halfway attractive, employed and cool with me having boytoys, I’ll marry him
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