just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
Segways are the fanny packs of transportation. Useful in some situations, but you always look like a tool when using one.
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
just saw a guy throwing up in the urinal at Dennys. Either he had one hell of last night or we are going to eat somewhere else
I feel like I need to get a restraining order against him but I'd probably be the one to break it.
I woke up on the ground next to a bed of naked men. I'm either a drunken genius or the enemy....
Sorry I dragged you across a parking lot
They broke our car window and then wrote "great night" on the next
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
It's becoming clear to me that I am not sugar baby material. I don't think I could handle old balls long term.
I'm at work behind the bar and just washed my mouth out with rumple bc I don't have a toothbrush. This may be a new low.
In order to get rid of my bladder infections I must give up caffeine, nicotine and tight pants. It's like my pussy is an angry dictator or something
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