i don't have parental supervision. i'm gonna start accepting candy from strangers now.
she claims you yelled BOMBS AWAY when you came. tell me she's lying
but she didn't tell you i squeezed, built up pressure, and napalmed her face as i yelled it, did she
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
I even made an effort to dress like a conservative young lady who doesnt black out and throw up in her bed regularly today.
you need to not memorize your credit card number for drunk pizza
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
Apparently we were arguing for captain seats so I shouted "who has your virginity." I got the seat.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
I held the blackjack dealer's hand and told the old asian woman she was 'soft to the touch, but cold as ice"
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
I'm not trying to analyze you I'm just saying you are being unfair to soup
This is the second time you've stolen a pet when you're drunk, given it back and cashed in on a reward...I think you have a problem
Gotta pay my student loans some way
Randomize
