threw up during christmas carols. the audience at the church seemed to immediately know i was a college student
my dad just walked in on my jacking off and all he had to say was "I thought you were bigger than that".... thanks dad.
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
Come over and help me clean up your so-called "winter wonderland" that you made with the fire extinguisher in the kitchen last night.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
Make puking fun. Chug half a monster right before you blow. Throw up foam. Most unique experience ever.
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
Doing shrooms is fine until you get raped by curtains
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
After 3 dates I think I'm failing at painting the "sweet guy with a future" picture and more painting the "this is the guy to call when you've run out of options and want to get fucked in half drunk to forget about it" picture.
Woke up covered in green glitter and beer. I am never leaving Ireland.
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
I just felt emotion and I'm not okay with it
Goddamn it. Hes got me addicted to his penis
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