She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
you went around grabbing cigarettes out of peoples mouths and claiming you were curing cancer.
You're going to have to buy me a lot of drinks before the bee suit goes on...
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
I picked up a guy that night wearing a onesie. I kicked Xmas' ass
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
The power of my boobs compel you
Would you think less of me if I were eating pizza on the toilet right now?
Reading becomes significantly more difficult when people are having crazy loud sex in an adjoining room
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I’ve gone two rounds already this morning and I’m ready for a third. The moon is in the house of sluticus hornius.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
seriously i don't trust him. he fed me a hot dog out of a crock pot and gave me moonshine dashed jager bombs.
Randomize
