nosebleed girl is getting lots of praise
and i forgot to tell you that my armpit hair is now completely grown back. man i love winter.
Just seeing my phone say "picture message from: Senor Floppy Cock", i knew it was going to make me smile.
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
now you know why we've never bought a 12 pack of king cobras before.
The floor and the wall just switched. I'm falling.
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
Just streaked campus for a bottle of patron...maybe you're right...I might have a drinking problem...
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
Not sure who they are or where we're going but they just bought me 3 tacos so I'm staying.
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
Either im seeing the northern lightgs, someone is having a rave, or im on acid.. Im most likely on acid
Randomize
