bl l w
this should be fun to decipher. I'd like to buy a vowel.
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
Just getting around to doing laundry. Jesus there's a lot of blood on my birthday dress.
I cant even remember his name or what he looked like. all I remember is what the tattoo on his forearm looked like.
well, he kindof looked like a walmart greeter. I tried to stop you
After all you put him through, I think it was only right that you saluted the bartender when you left.
Reason 37 booty call break ups suck: I literally could not find his house in the daytime.
the last call horn was blaring when I tried peeling you off the bathroom floor than you uttered "Ill take the toothless one.'
I'm a drunk white girl and my ancestors were drunk white girls, if we apologized our species would be extinct.
i just found my fake in the snow. LIFE IS AWESOME
Also, can next Friday be Long Underwear Friday instead of Jockstrap Friday? Because I'm about to cough up a testicle.
You have the perkiest tits in all of North America. You're fine.
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
So I forgot to ask, how was that bartender you slept with two weeks ago?
Google chlamydia.
He also sent me nipple clamps because romance is NOT dead
Randomize
