So she farted while we were having sex but I was afraid she would stop because she was emberessed so i just went ahead and took the blame and apologized
Thats a flattering suggestion doug but lets be clear NO you may not put your face in my vagina just because ur not charging me a cover. sorry.
Well I don't think you could recreate that hangover if you tried. It was like the perfect storm of hangovers.
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
Taped crackers to the wall. Sat I'n the dryer. Bobby had to pull me out by my hair. No more.
He would only do it doggy style. The "he's probably gay" debate rages on...
i mean, i offered you kinky, jungle themed sex. i don't know what else you want from me
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
i may have given a gay guy with a mohawk my number last night that said... "you are straight" omg so glad a whole year til my next birthday... also i hit myself in the face with a car door. nice.
actually there are like 49038098 people in the bathroom for no reason. Singing My Heart Will Go On and pseudo fighting.
Just ate an entire BBQ chicken pizza this better go to my tits
Can you have a quarter life crisis another time? I'm trying to masterbate.
So it turns out strippers do encores if enough people yell. Encore song: Self Esteem.
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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