do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
My last google search last night was 'vodka swimming pool'.
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
How many weeks is it acceptable until I can start bringing freshman back?
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Seriously you have a sixth sense. You woke up out of a nap to tell us all to check the clock and it was 4:18. You're like the spiderman of smoking weed.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
Do you think I shall pursue this journey to the center if the dick?
When you finally get laid, I shall make you a trophy out of dildos
My mouth is so dry that I'm about to put a straw in a jar of Vaseline and chug. This all addi diet definitely has its ups and downs.
i gotta stop hooking up with people just to get to their dogs
Can we talk about how i drunkenly changed the timezone on my phone last night and just showed up to work an hour early
No we didn't fuck. He picked me up I asked where we were going and he said "I don't know if you've ever heard of a little place called Denny's?" He was completely serious. I told him to stop the car and I got out and called Jack.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
Randomize
